Make America Inebriated Again: A State of the Union Drinking Game

By Jeff Cahlon and Jackson Richman

Planning on watching Tuesday night’s State of the Union? Here is a little game that could make it all go down a little easier.

  • Every time Trump says “Believe me,” take one shot.
  • Every time Trump says “wall,” take two shots.
  • For every instance of wild applause totally out of proportion to trite statement that preceded it, take two shots.
  • For every time Republicans cheer while Democrats jeer, take three shots.
  • For anything that will make you wonder, “Is he still talking to Steve Bannon?,” take three shots.
  • For every boast about size … of ratings, crowds, buttons, or “something else,” take four shots.
  • For every fact that is just a little “alternative,” take four shots.
  • For every reference to the Russia investigation or special counsel Robert Mueller, finish your drink!

Warning:  Do not try this game at home. If you do, you will be likely to wake up thinking Trump is right about at least one thing: Abstention.

Please remember to drink and behave responsibly. Because Trump will not.

About Jeff Cahlon 7 Articles
Jeff Cahlon is an attorney and writer in New York. He writes political and social commentary and satire. Jeff has had over 40 articles published on over a dozen different websites and has been named a "Top Writer in Satire" on Medium.


  1. May I ask a question? Why do people refer to President Donald Trump simply as “Trump”? It seems that in my lifetime, people have always shown respect for our country’s leader by calling him “President Kennedy” or “President Reagan” or “President Obama.” I understand that many people do not like President Trump and do not like his policies (I am one of them), but I feel that our leader should be treated with respect just out of respect of his office.

    • You are right it is more respectful, and probably a good thing to do at least in writing. You are wrong that this was never done before. While I’ve probably been around for less time than you (the first election I can remember was President G.W. Bush’s first term but at the very least I can recall having seen this done for every single President.