Make America Inebriated Again: A State of the Union Drinking Game

By Jeff Cahlon and Jackson Richman

Planning on watching Tuesday night’s State of the Union? Here is a little game that could make it all go down a little easier.

  • Every time Trump says “Believe me,” take one shot.
  • Every time Trump says “wall,” take two shots.
  • For every instance of wild applause totally out of proportion to trite statement that preceded it, take two shots.
  • For every time Republicans cheer while Democrats jeer, take three shots.
  • For anything that will make you wonder, “Is he still talking to Steve Bannon?,” take three shots.
  • For every boast about size … of ratings, crowds, buttons, or “something else,” take four shots.
  • For every fact that is just a little “alternative,” take four shots.
  • For every reference to the Russia investigation or special counsel Robert Mueller, finish your drink!

Warning:  Do not try this game at home. If you do, you will be likely to wake up thinking Trump is right about at least one thing: Abstention.

Please remember to drink and behave responsibly. Because Trump will not.

About Jeff Cahlon 7 Articles
Jeff Cahlon is an attorney and writer in New York. He writes political and social commentary and satire. Jeff has had over 35 articles published on over a dozen different websites and has been named a "Top Writer in Satire" on Medium.