Donald Trump Claims He Never Said Mexico Would Pay for the Wall

By Jeff Cahlon

As negotiations over funding for a proposed wall along the Mexico border have stalled, President Donald Trump surprised many political observers when he denied ever claiming that Mexico would pay for the wall.

“So the other day I was watching CNN,” Trump said in an interview with a reporter. “And on comes Cryin’ Chuck Schumer. As usual, his tears are as fake as the news on CNN, and he’s crying enough fake tears to create a whole fake river.”

Trump continued, “And Cryin’ Chuck is wailing and moaning on CNN, and he says, ‘Oh, we need to save the dreamers, but the Democrats will not agree to provide funding for the wall, because Trump said Mexico would pay for the wall.’ And I just thought, ‘Chuck, you better dry your fake tears, because I don’t know what the hell you are talking about. Where did Cryin’ Chuck get this crazy idea that I said Mexico would pay for the wall? Yet somehow CNN just let him make this ridiculous statement. And people wonder why I call them fake news CNN!'”

“So I just want to make this as clear as possible,” Trump added. “I never promised or even suggested or hinted that there was any chance Mexico would pay for any part of the wall. I mean, the whole idea is completely ridiculous. Why the hell would pay Mexico for the wall?”

Asked about the numerous videos showing him saying, “Mexico will pay for the wall,” Trump said, “We don’t think that was me.”

Trump also took the opportunity to emphasize that he remains committed to building the wall. “We will build a big, beautiful wall.” Trump said. “The wall is the wall. It doesn’t evolve.”

“That’s right, Mr. President,” Vice President Mike Pence, who sat in on the interview, interjected. “The wall doesn’t evolve. It’s like life.”

“Thank you, Mike,” Trump responded. “We will build the wall. A wall that’s so tremendous and beautiful, the mere sight of it will make Chuck ‘Fake Tears’ Schumer, for the first time ever, cry real tears.”

“Oh, and Mexico will pay for the wall,” Trump added. “Even though I never said they would.”

“Well, you just did,” a reporter said.

“That wasn’t me,” Trump replied.

About Jeff Cahlon 7 Articles
Jeff Cahlon is an attorney and writer in New York. He writes political and social commentary and satire. Jeff has had over 40 articles published on over a dozen different websites and has been named a "Top Writer in Satire" on Medium.

1 Comment

  1. Release chumps taxes ………… Chump said if he ran he would release his taxes and still hasn’t. Chump said if he won he would release his taxes and still hasn’t. He said he was a man of his word on live TV , hold him to it! Said on 2/1/17 on MSNBC News

    I’m pretty sure this is a clear and concise commitment to release his returns.

    Watch here….